Moving Forward

"New year, new me!"

Perhaps, I've seen nothing but absolute disgust for this phrase through social networking platforms and the like. I agree with the instance that you perhaps don't need the turn of a new year to better parts of yourself, but then again I disagree that you need to be cynical against one who is willing to do it. It's my optimistic nature talking; but I think it can be a good thing to use the new year as a time to change yourselves. A lot of humans work better under time frames - think of school and college; how much work did you do when you knew the deadline was tomorrow? That surge of motivation knowing you have a time frame to adhere to did wonders to your work, so what's the difference?

I've been feeling so motivated lately, I love it. I like feeling active and knowing I want to stay active and stay productive. I've been using progressive steps instead of dumping everything at once, I know that overloading will just force me to slump back and forget it all - so, every day I've made a list of things to do that day. Some small, some bigger. As time goes on, I'm hoping to obliterate the idea of making a list and doing said things on autopilot (having a list couldn't hurt though, eh?)

Until the 15th, my absolute priority is UCAS. It's pretty much 90% done - I have a reference on the way and need to finalise my decisions. After the 15th, I'm going to set my priorities to Croft Sessions. Namely getting that website finished, contacting a shitload of people, pushing more marketing and really fine-tuning the whole project.

January is looking to be a pretty good month, Work is going pretty well; David's finally had his baby (congratulations!); I'm in the longest relationship I've ever been in and couldn't be happier. I'm heading to London at the end of the month for a few days with Charlotte and get paid half a week after that. So all in all, pretty damn good month!

Next payday, I plan to pickup a few clothes, NFC tags, spend money on marketing and we'll take it from there.

Anyway, I'm supposed to be getting ready for work and having lunch, see ya next time.

Passion

I think it's important to have a passion in life, I also think it's one thing to have a passion & it's another thing to pursue that passion. So why aren't I?

Does everybody have a passion? Yes. Has everybody found their passion? No. I don't think there should be any rush to find one, you'll end up forcing one. I think it comes naturally and when it's found, you'll feel much better for it because it will just feel right. One of my old school teachers told me that he didn't find his passion until he was 44. Who's to say you should rush?

It's easy to say that you'll pursue a passion; it's easy to make plans and it's easy to say 'this will happen'; I don't know. Things can get in the way: money, time, confidence, knowledge, motivation - life. Life can get in the way. it depends on what end of the perspective spectrum you're on. All of the aforementioned factors are excuses, no doubt about that - if you have a passion, that is your motivation. That is what will bring out the very best and the very worst of you. That is what you will struggle for, what you will dream about and it is what will drive you forward.

My passion is filming. Filming bands for Croft Sessions. I love doing it, everything about it. I love finding bands, spending time with talent, learning and listening to their passions. Watching the way they talk about their love for music and really feeling the energy - then transferring that energy into film and releasing it is something that makes me feel so good and so accomplished. I just want to learn and become better and better at it.

I know for a fact that I have been neglecting my passion. It pains me, it does. I hate that it's happened and I hate that it feels like it's 'on hold' while 'real work (read: 9-to-5)' takes over. Don't get me wrong - I do like my job, even at the worst of times. I just honestly hate the fact that filming has had to take a side-step. It shouldn't; it never should have and it's my fault.

During this time I am going to be really strict to myself, I need to focus and put more energy into what I truly love and I know I will feel much better about myself; even if I'm surrounded by a majority who don't give a fuck about what they do - I'll feel significantly better about myself if I stop slacking.

2013, I'm coming for you.